Square Enix has announced a UK exclusive clothing partnership with Trapstar to create a Hitman: Absolution collection, which will launch on November 20th. The collection will use imagery from the game such as barcodes, reticules, and the number 47.
What about the latex-clad nuns? Aren’t we robbing male gamers of the chance to wear nun-themed latex outfits and live out the sexist fantasies of Hitman: Absolution? I’m not cool with objectification or sexism, because it’s harmful to society and shows nothing but the laziness of the minds behind the marketing of the game or the game itself. However, equal opportunity sexism is a step in the right direction. So come on boys! Squeeze yourself into some latex tights and a rubber bustier and try to say with a straight face that this outfit is respectable and doesn’t diminish the dignity or humanity of the person wearing it. I dare you.
Trapstar is not making latex apparel, so Hitman fans will have to settle for some t-shirts, sweatshirts, and caps that feature Hitman-related images. Hopefully they have a t-shirt with a bald man scowling on it, although I’d settle for a cap. “Hitman: Absolution is one of the coolest entertainment brands around and Agent 47 is always dressed to kill, so working with Trapstar seemed the perfect fit” said Jon Brooke, Brand and UK Marketing Director of Square Enix Ltd. If you aren’t sold on buying a piece of Hitman-themed Trapstar apparel, then this will get you: Rihanna wore one of their shirts.
That’s right, the one and only Rihanna. Now you want to buy all of their shirts, caps, and sweatshirts, and don’t worry, that’s perfectly natural. Don’t overwhelm people by wearing all of them at once. Save the sweatshirt for everyday wear, and use the cap for special occasions, like when you attend a religious ceremony or if you’re going to a black-tie dinner. That’s the perfect time for a video game branded hat.
