Paradox Interactive has announced in a recent trailer that War of the Roses can be pre-ordered. Players who pre-order the game will have access to an exclusive set of in-game armor and weapons as well as the soundtrack to the game. They’ll also have access to an exclusive honey badger crest, because gamers like to beat memes to death. A meme is no longer cool when you can buy it, when your grandmother forwards it to you in an email, or when it enters real life and is used unironically, such as
Rick Astley’s intrusion on the Thanksgiving Day parade. I’m looking forward to someone taking an arrow to the knee in this year’s parade. At least that will be fun to watch.
Players that choose to pre-order the game will have to choose a side. The York side can order from GameStop, GameTap, GamersGate, GamesPlanet, GreenManGaming, GameStreamer, and PCGameStore. If it has the word “game” in it, you can probably pre-order it there. The Lancaster side can order from Steam.
The War of the Roses game is developed by Fatshark and uses medieval, squad-based combat. For those who are not in the know, the War of the Roses is an actual thing that actually happened. It involved two grumpy gardeners who tried to beat each other to death with roses, only to find that flowers don’t make great weapons. There were petals and stems everywhere and it was sad because one of the gardeners had seasonal allergies so the other gardener held him down and rubbed pollen in his eyes while yelling, “Don’t you ever insult my begonias again!” There’s another lesser known War of the Roses that involves a war between two rival houses over the throne of England, but nobody cares about that now that we have Wikipedia.
